Elf on the Shelf & Sensory Differences: Making Holiday Magic Comfortable for Every Child
By Dr Lelanie Brewer, 1 December 2025
For many families, Elf on the Shelf has become a festive tradition full of excitement, surprise, and a bit of mischief. But for children with sensory processing differences, this magical visitor can sometimes bring more stress than joy.
Why can this cause stress? Because the holidays already come with a lot of change: decorations everywhere, bright lights, strong smells, disrupted routines, and unpredictable social demands. Adding a daily-moving elf with new rules and new expectations can feel overwhelming for some neurodivergent children.
The good news is that with a little adaptation, Elf on the Shelf can be sensory-friendly and enjoyable for everyone.
What is ‘Elf on the Shelf’
Elf on the Shelf is a popular holiday tradition based on a children’s book. Families adopt a small toy elf who is said to visit from the North Pole. Each night while the household sleeps, the elf “flies back” to Santa to report on the day’s events, returning by morning to a new spot in the house. Children then search for where the elf has landed, adding a playful sense of surprise and anticipation throughout December.
The elf encourages imagination, storytelling, and festive excitement, and many families enjoy creating humorous or magical scenes for the elf. Traditionally, children are told not to touch the elf so its magic won’t disappear.
Why Elf on the Shelf Can Be Tricky for Some Kids
Children who have sensory processing differences or who are autistic/ADHD might experience:
- Anxiety about unpredictability
- Difficulty understanding pretend rules
- Fear or discomfort around “being watched”
- Frustration with changes in routines
- Overload from already heightened sensory experiences in December
The message of “the elf is always watching and reporting” can feel stressful rather than exciting, especially for children who already put a lot of pressure on themselves to “behave.”
Sensory-Inclusive Elf Ideas
Keep the fun, reduce the overwhelm.
Here are a few meaningful alternatives:
1. Make the Elf a Helper instead of a spy
Instead of monitoring behaviour, the elf can leave encouraging notes or celebrate strengths.
2. Predictable routines
Move the elf at the same time each day (or only on weekends). A simple visual schedule can help.
3. Sensory-focused Elf activities
The elf can introduce calming and regulating experiences, for example:
- breathing exercises
- heavy work activities
- smell jars with festive scents
- sensory-friendly crafts
4. Keep the rules simple
Don’t implement strict “don’t touch” rules if that causes distress.
5. Let the child have a voice
Ask them: What would make the Elf fun for you?
This gives control and reduces anxiety.
Finally
There is no rule that every family must adopt this tradition. If Elf on the Shelf causes stress, choosing a different festive ritual is a great option. Holiday magic should feel good for everyone.
About Dr Lelanie Brewer
Lelanie is an occupational therapist and SI Practitioner (Advanced) with a passion for helping children and families navigate sensory differences. She has worked in the NHS, private and charity sectors and led OT education programmes at university level. Her PhD research explores self-care in children with and without motor difficulties, and she is a trusted name in the sensory integration community.
